Sunday 18 March 2012

Failure


Failure. Failure is cool. Failure is right; Failure is a natural process in the development of all things. When we first learn to eat on our own the spit and drool and mashed up pumpkin that drips from our faces onto the plastic plates is the first of our mistakes. We soon learn that the grub goes in the hole in our head with teeth and that spoons and forks really are useful, enabling the eating and making a god awful racket.

We try to walk next, bumping and scraping ourselves along the way a dog drags its butt along the carpet. We stand to rounds of applause from grandparents and proud mums and dads before coming to earth with a bump to ‘awwws’ and ‘aahhhs’ and a little laughter that makes us want to do the crashing around thing a little bit more before we learn it hurts a little more each time and standing on the weird useless things at the end of our legs we used to be able to put in the strange hole in our head with the teeth where the pumpkin goes is evidently preferable.

We go outside to play and ride bikes. Falling off, grazing knees, getting back on and eventually making it to the park to climb trees we promptly then fall out of. School comes next with the first forays into forming letters and kindly matrons standing over us holding our hands while we make our vowels on a page promptly stuck onto the fridge until we bring home the macaroni owl.

Failure is the only experience teenage boys get in that first desperate attempt to understand the fairer sex. The ones that succeed recognise that their first failures teach them something new and every rebuttal, for whatever reason, is a step towards a success somewhere else.

The failure of dress sense from the age of 14 until 24 and the awkward silence as the pictures of those heady days are found and displayed to people you would rather had not seen the white jeans or white stilettos.
Life is about failure. It’s about falling on our backsides and wondering why before dragging ourselves to our feet to try it again. What happens if you fall over? You get back up. As Alfred says to Batman -  ‘Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

This is all well and good until we get to the latter stages of our educational process where failure is not an option. We are not given the benefits of learning from mistakes and the messages drummed into young people are that this is it. Do or die.

But the world isn’t like that. We don’t get shot if we fail to pass an exam, we won’t be exiled to a gulag if we make a mistake at work. You might get fired, but that’s just another life lesson.

Failure teaches, failure helps, failure shows us what we are doing wrong and how to get better and better until eventually you can stand on your own two feet.

You should not live with failure; it should only pay the occasional visit. But when she does, embrace failure like a friend who’s given you some brilliant advice; just remember not to have to have her repeat it. 

(With thanks to JK for the article)

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